Five weeks until Christmas! Let the panic set in!
I used not to be bothered when Thanksgiving was over, and Christmas was around the corner. I had already thought of gifts and had a plan. And even if I was cutting it close, I knew I had the energy to make it happen if I just put my foot down heavier on the gas pedal.
But since Cancer entered my life, with all its broken bones, doctor appointments, and medical treatments, time flies like it’s never coming back. One week rolls into the next week, and I keep doing what it takes to keep me alive (and in a good mood, I hope!).
It’s not that I don’t try to plan – it’s just that things keep getting in the way. I know the best gift I can give my family is to celebrate the holiday with them, but it always hasn’t been possible. And even if I can’t get out of a wheelchair or need to take a nap before noon, they are just glad I’m around.
So, if I don’t pull off a Christmas like I did when the kids were young (and I was younger), or I don’t meet my expectations for being the perfect Christmas guest, I have to realize that proverbial “ship has sailed.”
Perfection was never attainable, then and not now.
All I have is who I am, today, to offer.
So the question is, am I offering it? Or am I fussing about what was versus what now is?
I think of the John Legend song, “’All of me loves all of you” and ask myself, do I love others enough to show up? Me with my imperfections, accepting them with theirs?
And if all of them, loves all of me, maybe that is enough?
No panic.
0 Comments