There is a moment between the adrenaline of diagnosis and the weariness of treatment when the reality of our disease sets in.
I remember my experience. We had been to an oncologist, and he explained my precursor condition for multiple myeloma. I asked him to write it on a piece of paper: Monoclonal Gammopathy. I hadn’t heard of such a word and had no idea how to spell it.
While I tried to play it cool in the doctor’s office, when I returned home and began searching the internet, reality set in. After just a few entries in Google, obituaries began popping up, loved ones who had died of multiple myeloma.
It was as if I could see my own name in print.
Yesterday, I read this entry on Caring Bridge: “Earlier today, I read the notes describing my condition: ‘Patient with a high risk of morbidity and mortality due to underlying conditions.’ That was a reality check.”
Tom has been trying to understand his condition by seeing multiple doctors. He felt it was serious, but with no name for his condition, he didn’t want to overreact.
Now, the tears flowed. Reality set in. Children were hugged, and a wife was cherished. He went through a flood of emotions he didn’t think he had.
I’m proud of him. As hard as it is to face the future and feel the feelings, he is not running from reality. He’s embracing life in the reality of death.
And it’s something we all should do. It’s not morbid to cherish what we have. In fact, it’s a gift. Instead of charging ahead with the next thing calling our name, let’s stop and recognize the beauty of the life that is around us.
We don’t know when it will be gone.
Let reality set in.
Thank you for your thought provoking entry, maggie. It reminds me of the Bible verse that tells us to number our days so we have a heart of wisdom.