This is a follow-up to my last post on Monday because washing feet was not the end of this story between Jesus and Judas in John 13. A few things go on during the dinner, but then the story returns to spotlight Jesus and Judas.

Jesus seems painfully aware of Judas’s betrayal to come. In fact, he announces that someone would betray him during dinner, but without the name, as he says blatantly, “One of you will betray me.”

I can imagine you could hear a pin drop in the middle of this tight band of brothers. Slowly, they begin questioning each other, bewildered about who they think the culprit would be. But Judas held his cards so tight to his chest that no one thought it would be him. Can you imagine what Judas was feeling as his heart pounded? Had he just been outed? What would they do if they found out it was him?

In a whisper, one sitting farther away asked his friend closest to Jesus to please be more specific.

So Jesus was. As was the custom, Jesus was going to dip a piece of bread and then serve it to others. But the first one would be the betrayer.

I get a little lost in the story about this point in time as Jesus dips the bread and gives it to Judas. Were the others blind? Did they not see what was happening? But this time, I skipped over their issues and just focused on Jesus and Judas.

Instead, out of my compassion for Judas, I had a strong emotion to jump across the table, knocking the bread from Jesus’s hand, and screaming to Judas, “Don’t take the bread!”

Taking the bread would be the step of no return in the plot to betray Jesus. Scripture says that “Satan entered Judas” at that point in time, and everything was set in motion.

You see, we can have all sorts of yucky things in our hearts and minds, but it’s not until we take the bread and decide to do the sin that it really counts. Judas was hardening his heart, determined to betray Jesus, even as Jesus was washing his feet. It was private then.

Then, Judas became more hardened after Jesus took it public and told the group “someone” was going to betray him. But he was able to fake it with the others, looking the same as them, staying under the radar, tricking them into believing he was something he was not.

But when he took the bread from Jesus’s hand and admitted to Jesus he was the betrayer, there was no going back, even if the others didn’t see it.

I couldn’t help but think about my own sins and the sins of others. We can flirt with sin, even dance with it in our minds, and hear the warnings of our conscience internally or what others say externally. But there is a point of no return when we become so determined to commit the sin that even looking eye to eye with God does not deter us.

I don’t know if you have ever been there or are close to it, but I have to admit, I want to throw myself across the table and scream at you or me, “Don’t eat the bread! Don’t make that final commitment to do the sin.”

But even if you have just like I have, even if you’ve eaten the bread, remember that Jesus is also the one who washed your feet.

He will forgive you.

Comment: Feel free to email me privately at Maggie.bruehl@gmail.com